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Posts Tagged ‘military’

OPSEC Nazi? Really?

12 Oct

I do not like it when people post specific information about their husbands online. It really, really irritates me. Recently, I saw a girl post the exact number of days until her husband returned home from Afghanistan on a Marine wives support page. I didn’t run and go tell her command or bitch her out; no, all I did was leave a comment saying “OPSEC” to remind her that hey, specifics like that are not a good idea. I got jumped all over for being an OPSEC Nazi. Um, excuse me? I wasn’t being rude, I didn’t castigate her for being stupid or thoughtless. It was a one word comment. When you say something like, “OMG my husband is coming home from Trashcanistan in 76 days!!”, well, that’s violating OPSEC. Know why? Because people can count. You’ve just told everyone when your husband is coming home, and thereby told everyone when his unit is returning as well. And that “everyone” could potentially include terrorists and Taliban. It may be Afghanistan but guess what? They’ve got computers, too.

As far as I’m concerned, you can never be too careful about OPSEC. If I’m even a little bit unsure about whether or not its an OPSEC violation, then I don’t say anything. Why? Because I value my husband’s life, and the lives of the Marines that he deploys with. There are some wives that apparently do not feel the same way. Case in point: Matt’s last deployment. This was mostly moms of our Marines and not wives, but good Lord… there was violation after violation after violation. “So-and-so has been injured and is leaving Leatherneck at 0800 tomorrow to fly to Landstuhl.” “Just talked to my son so-and-so and they’re going to __________ first thing in the morning!” The worst was when a wife posted that one of our Marines had died before the family had been notified. I don’t know if they saw her Facebook post or not, but my blood was boiling over that one. The point is that it happened all the time, and was by and large fueled and encouraged by a group of embedded reporters we had with the unit — they actually posted GPS locations on a map of Marines they did interviews with or stories they published. They never interviewed my husband, but lets say they did. They would have published his name, his rank, his picture, and a location on a map of where he was. Um, hello???

Now, I do believe that there are two different kinds of OPSEC violators. The first one probably just doesn’t know any better, like the person I mentioned above. The second doesn’t care, and just thinks they’re above the rules. This is the group that the OPSEC violators from the last deployment fell under, as they got multiple warnings from command AND their Marines were disciplined for their violations. But they still kept doing it. They think that because they are civilians, they don’t have to follow the rules. Well, guess what? You do. This isn’t some game. This is war, and hacking through Facebook to get an idea of troop movements isn’t altogether difficult, especially when you’ve got wives putting dates online, or moms saying that their sons told them where they were going the next day.

I know no one likes the wife who points out OPSEC violations. I also know that no one likes to be wrong. But when it comes to the safety of our Marines, you can’t be too careful as far as I’m concerned, and it frankly pisses me off that a reminder to safeguard the information we have is oftentimes met with derision. I know that the phrase “Loose Lips Sink Ships” used to actually mean something. But time and time again today, I see family members freely sharing information they have about their Marines without even a second thought. Why do more wives not get upset about this? These are our husbands over there, it is not a safe place, and for God’s sake, they are fighting for us. We can’t even keep our mouths shut in return? No, apparently there are wives who feel that its OK to make the incredibly dangerous job they’re doing even more dangerous. And yet somehow, I’m the bad guy for politely pointing out the obvious. I don’t think so.

 
11 Comments

Posted in Deployment, Marine Corps life, OPSEC

 

The Brood Keeps Growing and Growing

11 Oct

Well, this week the Chesser family got some big news: we’re expecting baby number two!

Now, Ben was planned. We decided that we wanted a baby, and I especially wanted one NOW. I knew Matt was about to deploy, and that if we got pregnant right away there was a very good chance he’d be home for the birth. We only had a month before he left to get pregnant, so we went to work and got it done. I was shocked, actually, that it was able to happen for us that quickly. But it did, and Matt was miraculously home for the birth.

This time? Yeah, not so much planned. I’ve been getting baby fever for a few months now, so I’ve definitely wanted another one. And I also want my kids to be close together in age. My brother and I were only 21 months apart, and I remember how great that was for us. I want my kids to have those same wonderful experiences. But I didn’t want to go through another pregnancy all alone and stressing about whether or not he would make it home in time. So the plan was to get pregnant as soon as he got home, in the hopes that he’d be there for the entire pregnancy and the birth.

Well, we did what married people do, and the particular day I conceived, I knew that I was pregnant. Don’t ask me how, but I just did. As soon as we were done I looked at Matt and said, “Well, we just made a baby.” I also immediately thought it was a girl — I knew deep down with Ben that it was a boy, as much as I hoped otherwise — but we’ll have to wait and see on that front. Anyway, a few days later he told me he thought I was pregnant, too, because I had that glow. Two weeks and a pregnancy test later, and bingo, I was right. I am officially knocked up.

I have to say, I am thrilled to be adding to our family. I can’t even tell you how excited and happy I am to have another little one. I want a big family, so this is absolutely a good thing. There’s only one downside: Matt will not be here for the birth. He’s deploying again (I obviously can’t say when), and there is no doubt about this one. He won’t be here. No ifs, ands, or buts. I don’t mind so much for myself… while of course I’d rather him be there, I’ll have my family and my friends to help me get through it. I feel bad for him though. I know how much it killed him last deployment, thinking of missing the birth of his child. He told me over and over again how worried he was about missing it. And now he will miss one. Its not all negatives, of course. The homecoming will be just so incredibly emotional and amazing, and we’ll be able to Skype in the delivery room while I’m in labor. But it’ll be a moment that he’ll miss, and never be able to get back.

On my end, what I worry about is how I’m going to manage a toddler and a newborn, all by myself. I spent so many nights crying with Ben, because he just would not sleep unless he was being held. He screamed in his bassinet, and we got him to sleep for a little while in his car seat at night. But for a guaranteed good bout of sleep, he had to be held. I’m just praying that this next one will sleep on their own. I don’t expect sleeping through the night or anything, just please dear God, sleep in your bassinet and take naps during the day. That’s all I’m asking for. It’ll probably be a rough first couple of months, but on the upside, it will definitely mean the time will fly, and Matt will be home before we all know it, meeting his new little one and reuniting with his son, who will be walking and talking by then. I know it will be hard, but I also know that I can handle it. Shoot, what other choice do I have but to handle it? I’m a Marine wife. I’ve got to do my husband proud.

 
1 Comment

Posted in Deployment, Marine Corps life

 

Military Wives of San Diego? Really?

30 Sep

Get ready, folks, because coming soon to your televisions is… Military Wives of San Diego! Pardon me while I go hurl into my trash can.

You fell in love with a man in uniform, in fact, you’re married to the military. Behind every man stands a great woman, none more so than the man in service to his country. Military wives will celebrate these unsung heroes that are also making the sacrifice, spending their nights alone, holding down the fort on home soil.

Doron Ofir Casting is recruiting a group of extraordinary women who share the joys and burdens that come along with choosing a relationship with the enlisted. If your life as a military wife is worthy of being shared with millions you should apply.

This brand new DocuSeries offers the unprecedented opportunity to document your lifestyle as you navigate the complicated journey of being in a relationship with or married to the military. From deployments to homecomings, enlisted men to officers, the newly engaged to recently divorced, Military Wives aims to celebrate the true story behind love and life with the military.

What kind of women are they looking for, exactly?

“…a group of extraordinary women who share the joys and burdens that come along with choosing a relationship with the enlisted. Whether you’re up all night worrying or out all night partying, we want to hear your stories. We’re looking for six brazen stars for our long form docu-soap about your lives on and off the base.”

I’m curious why there seems to be such an emphasis on enlisted wives. Do they think we’re trashier or something and would make for better television? I only ask because clearly, they’re going for the sleaze. And I guess to them, that means enlisted wives. Nice.

So they want six “brazen” stars to be featured in a “docu-soap”? Oh, I can just imagine the people who will be featured on this show now. There’s the alcoholic wife who hits up all the bars. The rank-wearing bitch will be there, as will be the OPSEC violator who can’t keep her mouth shut and gets her husband in trouble. There will be the skanky wife who cheats on her husband (because it is just so hard with him being gone all the time), and the wife whose husband has PTSD. And then, of course, there will be the catty wife who talks about all the other wives behind their backs.

This show is such a horrible idea that its making my head spin. The fact that the title was made to sound similar to “The Real Housewives” shows was, I’m sure, on purpose and I’m also sure is indicative of the kind of show they’re going to be airing. This is also the same casting company that brought us “Jersey Shore”. Awesome.

The sad thing is, they will undoubtedly have no problem finding their six women looking to cash in on their husbands’ military service to get fame. And I haven’t seen that be brought up yet — that’s what these wives will be doing. They’re using their husbands’ service to their country and exploiting it to get fame. Whoever does end up on this show should be ashamed of themselves. And they’re representing all of us, every single military wife out there. The difference is that most of us don’t go bar-hopping every night while our husbands are deployed, or keep a Jody on standby, or whatever dramatic, sleaze-filled scenarios this show will present. But that’s how America is going to see us now. They’re looking for, in their own words, brazen women who party all night. Its going to be a train wreck, and what’s worse, all of us military wives will be painted by their brush. Its despicable.

This show will be looking for drama, and let’s face it, us hard-working wives who keep our heads down, hold down the home fort, and love and support our husbands with every fiber of our beings just don’t make good television.

 
2 Comments

Posted in Media

 

Its The Few And The Proud, Not The Queer And The Fabulous

29 Sep

We said it, didn’t we? All of us knew what was going to happen after DADT was repealed, and sure enough, here we are. Now that the repeal is officially in effect, what do we have but the trannies and the cross-dressers trying to get into the military.

Let me just make one thing clear. Right away, for the people who are going to jump all over me. Oh, you’re a bigot! You’re a hate-filled homophobe! WAAAAAAHHHH! Its the same ridiculous arguments over and over again. So, in the words of our president, let me be clear. No one, and I mean no one, cares about gays serving in the military. It has nothing to do with their honorable service. What it has to do with is where repealing DADT will take us, and we’re already seeing that. If all that would happen is that gays could serve in the military (which, of course, they already could), then fine. Most people know who the gays in their units are anyways. And while I have said this over and over again, it still doesn’t seem to sink in to people’s thick heads. So let me say it again, loud and clear. Pay close attention. I do not care if gay people serve in the military. That is not the point and it never has been. This is about the politics, the agenda. That is what has so many people angry. Things like this, which so many of us knew would eventually come up.

The gay rights agenda-pushers surely weren’t going to be satisfied with just letting DADT be repealed, something which is being broadcasted far and wide now. Did anyone really believe they wouldn’t start pushing for things like this? If you did, then the joke’s on you.

With homosexuals now able to serve openly in the military, the gay rights movement’s next battleground is to persuade the Obama administration to end the armed forces’ ban on “transgenders,” a group that includes transsexuals and cross-dressers.

“Our position is that the military should re-examine the policy, the medical regulations, so as to allow open service for transgender people,” said Vincent Paolo Villano, spokesman for the 6,000-member Center for Transgender Equality.

The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN), which pushed to end the military’s gay ban, is urging President Obama to sign an executive order prohibiting discrimination based on “gender identity.”

It had wanted the order to happen on Sept. 20, the official date “don’t ask, don’t tell,” as the gay ban was called, ended via repeal legislation signed by Mr. Obama.

SLDN’s goal is contained on a Web page with the headline, “Working toward transgender military service.” The page states that a decision to remove the ban must be made at the Pentagon. “Relationships between transgender organizations, medical associations, and military allies will be crucial for advancing this issue,” it says.

Give them an inch, they’ll take a mile. Clearly, the issue was never honorable military service.

Now, here’s the laughable thing: that anyone could possibly believe that there is a place for transgenders and cross-dressers in the military. Allow me to explain.

The military is not a social experiment, which may very well be the most infuriating thing about all of this. It also is not all-inclusive. Not everyone can just waltz in and join. There are standards that must be met, and people are turned down from joining every day. Likewise, there are people currently serving who want to reenlist and cannot. This is because the military is not some kind of social club that anyone can just come play in. The military is structured the way it is for a reason. We need the best and the brightest, the strongest fighters and the fiercest warriors. (And by fierce, I don’t mean Tyra Banks “that outfit is fierce!” fierce.) Conformity and discipline rule in the military. Individuality is not promoted or encouraged. And it is that way for a reason. In the Marine Corps, for example, it doesn’t matter who in your unit went to boot camp at MCRD Parris Island or MCRD San Diego. It doesn’t matter where they went to SOI or where they’ve served before. You’ll know that the Marine you’re fighting with has the same training, the same skills, and the same discipline you have (in theory, anyways). There is a reason that service members can only have certain haircuts, can’t have visible tattoos and earrings and have to wear uniforms.

Explain to me how that works with cross-dressers and trannies, hmm? How does that uniformity and conformity work out when you’ve got a cross-dresser standing in formation?

The military does not exist to validate someone’s lifestyle, and it isn’t there for everyone to join if they want to. Some people get turned down. Deal with it. What is important is that we have the strongest military in the world, not that people with an agenda to push get to feel included. People who join the service need to be doing so because they want to defend their country, not because they want to force an agenda and fundamentally transform the military. This attitude that the military is for everyone is ludicrous, and the line needs to be drawn somewhere. All right, fine, DADT was repealed. Whatever. How far is this going to go? Clearly, as I stated before, this is NOT about honorable service. It is all about the agenda.

And let me save some of you some time. You don’t need to go around calling me a bigot and a homophobe (I already know that’s coming, its the most tired argument in the book, and holds about as much weight as screaming RAAAAAAACIST! whenever you don’t get your way). This has nothing to do with having a problem with cross-dressers and transgenders. I really could care less about what someone does in their own time. You want to cross-dress, go for it. The issue at hand is military service. And I am sorry, but there is no place for transgenders and cross-dressers in the military. Period.

 
1 Comment

Posted in DADT, Marine Corps News

 

And Now The Doubt

27 Sep

The doubt is starting to set in. It has only been about a week since Matt has been gone, and it has been easy and hard at the same time. Ben definitely makes it easier, for one. The time is going by much faster, and I’m busier as well. And Matt gets to come home for a few minutes a couple times a week — he is taking an EMT course two days a week, and they’re letting him leave the field to go to the course. I only see him for the few minutes it takes for him to come home and change, but its more than virtually every other wife in our battalion.

Even with those few minutes though, its still hard. I feel guilty for even saying that when no one else gets to see their husband, but it is. I miss him so much. Those few minutes I get are wonderful, but the time without him is awful. I want nothing more than to be able to kiss him, or sleep in the bed next to him. And then I start to wonder how the hell I’m going to make it through this next deployment if I’m struggling through a field op that’s less than a month long.

The dirty little secret that I don’t like to admit is that I’m scared. Terrified, actually. When I stop and think about it, I realize that its something that wives never really mention unless they’re having a low day. Its like if you say out loud, I’m scared that my husband is going to die, it might come true. But its the truth. I am scared. Every now and then, this awful thought comes to mind and it isn’t for any reason in particular, but I worry: what if he doesn’t come home? You always tell yourself that it won’t happen, not to you and not to your husband, but there is always that chance that it could. And then those thoughts take over… what if, what if, what if. What if I get that knock on my door, what if I’ll never see him again, what if Ben never knows his daddy? It can drive you crazy, so you don’t say it out loud. But its the truth. I’m scared. I know in all likelihood everything will be fine, but I can’t be superwoman, and I can’t permanently make the doubt go away. Its hard, it really is. I feel like I am so prepared and ready for this deployment, but every now and then, I can’t help it. The doubt and the fear and the anxiety take over.

 
2 Comments

Posted in Deployment, Marine Corps life

 

Life Without Daddy

22 Sep

Its been almost a week since Matt left for the first time since Benjamin was born. And it is my first time being a mom all on my own.

The good news is that, with a kid, the time absolutely goes by much faster. The days just fly by. I look down at the time on my phone and will be shocked to find that it’ll be 5:00 already. The downside is that I get no break at all. I know that Matt has it harder than I do out in the field (especially days like today, when its been raining all day), but it’s still a little tough some days. When Ben is being really fussy or cranky, and I’m getting frustrated, the thought inevitably creeps into my mind: I have to deal with this all day. I am almost at the end of my rope and I have no one to help me. Of course, it gets better within a few minutes for the most part — Ben stops crying, I calm down, and everything is fine. But those moments where I feel completely helpless and alone are definitely tough. Being alone with a baby is so different from being completely alone when he’s gone, and its a big adjustment to make. There are definitely ups and downs to separation with kids as opposed to without.

One of the downs? Ben hasn’t been sleeping as well lately. I’ve been so confused as to what has been affecting his sleeping habits. It took some time, but eventually I got him to where he was not only sleeping through the night, but also on a fairly reliable naptime schedule. He usually wakes up around 8:00am. But since Matt left, he’s been waking up around 4:30am and he isn’t napping as well as he normally does, either. The only thing different is that his dad isn’t here. I have no idea if he even realizes it, and if it would affect something like that, but I don’t know what else could be causing it. He is teething, but I’m still giving him Tylenol as usual. He’s eating the normal amounts and doesn’t seem to be hungrier than usual. I’m so confused as to what the difference is. I can’t figure it out. And I really do wonder if Ben has noticed that his Daddy isn’t here.

Things are a little tough on my end as well. I miss him so much already. Like I said before, I don’t think I’ll ever completely get used to him not being here. Its only been a few days, but I really do miss him. I just want to hug him for a few minutes, for him to sleep in the bed next to me. But this is only the beginning, and I’ve got to tough it out for a lot longer than a few weeks soon. I’m not looking forward to it, but at the same time… I really just want to get it over with.

 
3 Comments

Posted in Marine Corps life

 

I Can’t Believe I Even Have To Say This

17 Sep

But apparently I do. Our unit recently started an official Facebook page. It’s a smart move, if handled well. Social media is growing and becoming more powerful, and it’s a great venue to distribute information and get families together. I have no complaint about the unit page in and of itself.

But. Recently, we have had several wives posting complaints about the unit on the page. (Keep in mind, this page is monitored by the unit command.) One girl was complaining that the ball was too expensive and that it was mandatory, and that the unit should think about reality before having such a “lavished” event in a “nice” setting. I guess in the future we should just have horrible balls in dingy little rooms, because some people might not be able to save up $80 over the course of seven pay periods. (Also, the ball is only mandatory for Marines, who don’t have to pay if all they’re attending is the ceremony, and transportation is provided. But I digress.)

Specifically, this is what was said:

I don’t know who’s incharge of everything that deals with the ball, but I just want to let you know that I feel it is so wrong to make the ball Mandatory. We all know that with certain ranks and what not, not all of us can afford to go to this event. Bills and the care for our children come first. It is not a lie that you see many families within the Marine Corp live pay check to pay check and so to make them spend extra money on something that was made mandatory because somebody wanted somewhere “nice” to host event is wrong.

They did not take into consideration that not everyone has a decent budget. I am speaking on behalf of those that won’t speak up about this and for many who I have heard that has a problem with this. I have to say I am very disappointed in the way this was taken care of. We have a deployment we are all preparing for, bills that need paid, food put on the table . So before we decide to have lavished events like this ever again, please consider the other picture before you agree to something. Of course we would all love to celebrate the birthday of this great military branch, but the other aspect is reality. And reality says that with a government budget, we all can not do so.

I think I had steam coming out of my ears reading that. So, according to this girl, we should never have Marine Corps balls again to honor the Marine Corps birthday, a tradition going back for almost one hundred years. She later commented that she knew that this wasn’t mandatory for all spouses and that Marines wouldn’t necessarily have to pay, but that she was just “speaking out for everyone who didn’t know”. Right. And this was the appropriate forum to do so, not by going through the proper chain of command with a legitimate complaint — legitimate meaning, non-petty.

And then I see yet another girl has posted a complaint.

I just want to say that I am very disappointed. My husbands Uncle which I know is not imediate family normally is in the hospital with little to no chance of livig through the night. Both of my husbands parents are deceased so this pretty much is his imediate family and the command will not let him take leave to go and see his uncle. I am outraged by this so next time your imediate family has an emergency don’t count on the commad letting you take leave.

Do I understand this girl’s frustration? Sure. But I also understand that this Marine’s uncle is not immediate family, and that we have a deployment to train for. It’s unfortunate and it’s sad, but it’s the way it is. And regardless, it doesn’t matter. What is she doing posting about it on the unit Facebook page??

These girls aren’t posting their complaints on their own personal pages. They’re doing it on the unit page, which is monitored. These comments will be seen by every family member who has liked that page (413 currently), not to mention the Marines in the unit who monitor the page — and this page is monitored. Do they have no regard for their husbands? I would never, ever disrespect my husband by saying anything like that on an official unit forum. Whatever your complaints are, there is an appropriate way to express those complaints to the chain of command. Posting it on Facebook for everyone to see is not only immature and unprofessional, but it could potentially get your husband in trouble. They’re not just posting complaints. They’re actually insulting the unit. I just am in shock that anyone would do something like that. What could you possibly be thinking?? If you cared at all about your husband’s career, why would you be so stupid as to insult his unit — thereby insulting his chain of command — on an official, public unit forum for everyone to see? Matt would chew my ass out so fast I wouldn’t know what happened to me. I would be dead if I ever humiliated him like that.

The unit has been kind enough to leave the page open. And these women are abusing that privilege. If they keep it up, the page will be taken down altogether, and the unit will be losing a valuable tool. I cannot believe it even needs to be said, because to me this seems like common freaking sense. But if you have a complaint about the unit, go through the appropriate chain of command. Do NOT post about it on ANY official unit forum, and for God’s sake, no matter how you express your complaint, do NOT insult his chain of command! Come on ladies. It’s not that difficult.

 
3 Comments

Posted in Marine Corps life, Social Media

 

Last Day

17 Sep

The last day is always an odd one. It’s bittersweet. You wake up sad because it’s your last day together, but you don’t want to ruin it by being miserable all day. You go about your daily business, and for a lot of the day, you’re happy together. You’re in a good mood, you’re smiling, you’re laughing. And then every now and then, that sinking realization hits you that tomorrow, he’s leaving. You push it to the back of your mind and try to reassure yourself that you’ve got all day together. But then you lay in bed together, and you can’t escape it anymore.

Today is our last day. Matt isn’t deploying, it’s just a few weeks, but I’m still a little melancholy. It’s his first time being away from the baby, and his first time not being home since he’s returned from Afghanistan. It’s going to be a normal day. I’m made breakfast while he was PTing. We went to the commissary to get groceries, I made some baby food, and he mowed the lawn. The Florida game is coming on soon, and they’re playing Tennessee, so of course we don’t want to miss that one (go Gators!). And I’m making Jagerschnitzel and spaetzle tonight in honor of Oktoberfest. It’s a very, very normal, ordinary day.

Every now and then, though, one of us will get a little upset. I noticed Matt looking a little misty-eyed earlier. He was feeding the baby, and Ben was falling asleep in his arms. Matt was looking into his beautiful little face and I could see the emotion on his face. I’m only going to be missing my husband — he’s missing not only his wife, but his son as well. It’s so much harder for him than it is for me, and I wish there was something I could do to ease the separation for him.

It’s only a few weeks. But it’s still time apart, and maybe I should be used to it by now. But let’s be honest: does anyone really get to the point where being separated from their spouse no longer bothers them? I know the time will go by quickly, I’m not upset that he has to go because I understand why. But I’m still sad about it, and my heart still hurts to see the pain in his eyes at the thought of being separated from his son for the first time. We’re used to being separated, but that doesn’t make it any better or easier. We don’t just shrug it off, like, “Oh, my husband’s going to be gone for three weeks? Eh, no big deal.” It’s always a big deal, no matter how often it happens. He’s my husband. I want him here. And I hate that he has to miss time with his son. I can’t imagine it being any easier.

It’s the last day we have for several weeks, and right now Ben is asleep in his crib. Matt is sitting down to relax for a bit before he goes to pack. It’s a normal day. If only I could make the time slow down. If only, if only, if only…

 
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Posted in Deployment, Marine Corps life

 

Is it really that hard to dress yourself?

15 Sep

I keep getting questions about what is appropriate to wear for various military functions: balls, dinners, briefs, homecomings, etc. And while I have no problem giving out advice, I’m just a little befuddled that there are even questions on what to wear. There’s a simple answer: look at what your husband will be wearing, and dress accordingly. Will he be in his dress blues, like at the ball? Wear a formal gown. Will he be in his Alphas? Wear a dress (albeit a more casual one) or a skirt. A homecoming? Well, that’s personal preference, but my opinion is to make yourself look as stunning as is humanly possible, and what you’re wearing is included in that. I personally try to wear a dress to homecomings.

I just have to wonder, is it really that hard to dress yourself?

Well, I can answer my own question. For some wives it clearly is. It doesn’t matter what the event is, there will always be a wife there dressed inappropriately. Some wives will be skanking it up, especially at the Marine Corps Ball. The dresses with cutouts, the v-necks cut down to the belly buttons, the slits in the dress cut so high that you can see their… well, everything… you’ll see it all. I really have to wonder what their Marine must be thinking when his CO, along with everyone else in his battalion and all of their spouses, sees his wife dressed like a high-class hooker. I wonder even more if she even gives a damn that she’s making herself and, more importantly, her Marine look bad. I don’t even like when wives wear short dresses that aren’t skanky, but that’s just my personal preference. It doesn’t make me angry or offended, but I just feel like… come on, this is the Marine Corps Ball. It’s a formal event. Wear a formal dress. Show some respect to the tradition and the ceremony here, ladies.

As for any other events, I don’t see the difficulty in that either. Here’s my rule of thumb. For any unit event, I try to make sure I look nice. If I wear jeans, I wear a nice pair of jeans and a nice shirt, although I usually try to wear something nicer than just jeans. The reason is that, no matter what the occasion, I am representing my husband. What I wear and how I act is a reflection of him, and I want to represent him well. I want my husband to be proud to tell his CO or his 1st Sgt that yes, this is my wife. I see wives show up to events in sweatpants, ratty torn jeans, and flip flops. They look like a mess, like they just rolled out of bed. And I just feel bad for their husbands. I guarantee that’s not how he wants to be represented, especially if it’s an event that his higher-ups will be attending as well. Before you leave, look in the mirror and think about three people: your husband, your mom, and your pastor from church. If they would all approve, you’re good. That doesn’t mean you can’t wear jeans or be comfortable — it just means be classy, wear nice clothes, and put effort into your appearance. It’s really not that difficult.

Most wives do this just fine. The majority of wives at unit functions that I see look just fine. But there are always those few wives who dress sloppily or feel the need to skank it up, and everyone notices. Every head turns when she walks by, and not in a good way. And you don’t want to be one of those women. Right?

 
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Posted in Marine Corps life

 

Marine Corps Times: We’re Gay, Get Over It?

14 Sep

When DADT was repealed, I took a lot of heat — and I mean a lot — for writing that, although I didn’t agree with the repeal, I thought we should have faith in our military that it would be handled in the best way possible. I do not agree with repealing DADT. I am hopeful that once we get a competent Commander-In-Chief, that it could be reinstated. And it’s issues like this arising that are the very reasons that I was against DADT being repealed. I have no problem with gays serving in the military — I don’t think anyone cares if they serve. No one doubts that a gay Marine can serve just as honorably as a straight Marine can. Honorable service was never the issue. The issue was exactly what we’re seeing now: gay rights being shoved down the throats of service members. The beauty of DADT was that it allowed the military to remain neutral on gay rights. Gay marriage, for example, is an issue that the military will be forced to take a stance on now. And no matter what they choose, people will be angry. If a gay soldier is married, will their marriage be recognized? Will they get benefits? What about straight Marines and gay Marines showering and sleeping together? These are situations that don’t have easy solutions. But the repeal is over, it’s been done, and all that can be done now is wait and see how this will affect the military. I still feel that way. But my mind may be starting to change… especially after seeing this on the cover of the Marine Corps Times.

Speechless. When I saw that, I was absolutely speechless.

This month, on the 20th, the repeal officially goes into effect. And this is how the Marine Corps Times is choosing to showcase that. My husband came home last night and told me about seeing this cover, and I am fuming. My blood is literally boiling.

It is one thing to repeal DADT and to let gays to serve openly. It is quite another to flaunt it, to shove it down our throats like this. Why is it, I wonder, that we need to know who is gay and who isn’t? Why do our faces have to be rubbed in it? I really don’t need to know who in my husband’s unit is straight or gay, but for some reason, I guess we simply HAVE to know. We not only must know, but we are apparently required to approve of it.

And I’m curious: why are we the ones being told to get over it? It seems to me that the exact opposite needs to happen. Why is such a big deal being made out of the fact that there are some — gasp!! — gay service members? It has absolutely nothing to do with the job they have to do, so why is it being made into such a big issue?

On that note, one of the most offensive things about this headline is the implication that the military is inherently homophobic. Apparently, being gay is something that makes all of us in the military community terrified and/or angry. It’s infuriating, and that a newspaper that is supposed to be dedicated to the Marine Corps would take such a stance is outrageous. It’s a disgrace to the Corps and everything it stands for. Have they forgotten the Corps values? Honor, courage, commitment. What is presented on this cover is not honorable in the least. It’s a cheap, divisive, and disgraceful ploy to get attention.

One of the most divisive parts about this is that it separates Marines into two groups: gay Marines vs. straight Marines. Aren’t they all just Marines? Everyone goes through boot camp and are made into Marines. There’s not a separate process for gay recruits and straight recruits. We don’t differentiate between black, white, Asian, or Hispanic Marines — yet here we have the Marine Corps Times pitting gay and straight Marines against each other. They should be ashamed.

I haven’t read the issue yet. But on their website, the Marine Corps Times states they they have interviewed gay Marines about the repeal. I’m curious: will they be interviewing straight Marines to find out what their opinions are, too? Or are they solely promoting the viewpoints of gay Marines with an agenda to push?

I will say right now that if I had a subscription to the Marine Corps Times, I would be cancelling it. As it is, I will never purchase another issue unless and until an apology is issued. If you agree, then feel free to contact their staff.

Gannett Government Media
6883 Commercial Dr.
Springfield, Va. 22159-0500 USA

1-800-368-5718
1-703-750-7400

Andrew DeGrandpre, Managing Editor:
adegrandpre@militarytimes.com

Tony Lombardo, News Editor:
tlombardo@militarytimes.com

Gidget Fuentes, Bureau Chief:
gfuentes@militarytimes.com

The Marine Corps is owed more respect than was just showed to it by the Marine Corps Times. They should be ashamed, and an apology should be issued and the story retracted. This is a disgrace.

 
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Posted in DADT, Marine Corps News, Media

 
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