This year, it was held in the Greenville Convention Center. That is about a two hour drive, and so we got a room in the Hilton, which is on-site at the convention center. Very convenient, because then Matt could drink all he wanted and I wouldn’t have to worry about driving home to Camp Lejeune around midnight. We had plenty of time to get ready in our room, didn’t have to drive all the way in my dress and his blues, and when it was over, could just collapse into bed. Great, great decision to stay there.

One of the little quirks that was slightly annoying was that we had assigned seating. That fact in and of itself wasn’t so bad — the seating was assigned by company and rank, so we sat at a table of corporals from H&S company — but what was frustrating is that we have a very, very large battalion. We have about 1200 Marines and sailors in our battalion. And there was no seating chart… just a card on the center of each table that would say the company and the table number, and the names of the parties sitting at that table. So everyone was walking around the hundreds and hundreds of tables, peering at these little cards, trying to figure out where they were sitting. It was pretty funny, actually — we found our table relatively quickly, but a couple of friends of ours couldn’t find theirs, and in desperation before the ceremony began just sat down at a random table with some people they knew.

Anyway, we found our table and were well settled in when the ceremony started. I couldn’t see anything. But I could hear everything, and really, that was all that mattered. Our battalion CO gave a short speech, and then introduced our guest of honor: the legendary Major General Ray “E-Tool” Smith. His speech was great. It started with an emphasis on pronouncing General Lejeune’s name correctly (Luh-jern), because as General Smith said, he is the single most important Marine in Marine Corps history, so the least we can do is pronounce his name correctly. He also spoke a lot about killing commies (which made me laugh) and about Vietnam.

Shortly after that, we had the annual Commandant’s birthday message. And holy cow… this video made me cry. A lot. I was desperately wiping away tears as quickly as I could in fear that it would ruin my makeup.

It was a very emotional video, which seemed different from the messages I’ve seen the past few years. But it was an excellent birthday message, and was definitely inspiring and motivating. It was a reminder of why we live the life that we do, and why we sacrifice as a family.

Another touching moment was when our battalion CO pointed out the empty black table in the front, to signify our fallen Marines. It had a single lit candle, a Purple Heart, and dog tags. It was touching in its simplicity, remembering those who have shed blood in defense of our country, and those who have made the ultimate sacrifice, giving their last full measure of devotion to their country. He also recognized some of our wounded warriors from our most recent deployment, who received a standing ovation from most of the people in attendance, although sadly not from all. The Marines all stood up and applauded. I noticed that sadly, very few wives did.

And that was another frustrating thing about the ceremony. I know not everyone is a moto wife like I am, I get that. But there is no excuse for flat-out disrespect. I saw one wife, for example, while the colors were being presented and we were all asked to stand, get out of her seat and slam it onto the ground, cross her arms, and give a little huff of anger while rolling her eyes. Other wives remained firmly in their seats during various parts of the ceremony, or wouldn’t clap for the speeches or for the various Marines who were recognized. It was rude, disrespectful, and extremely inappropriate.

A good number of people left directly after dinner, too. I know for some people its just a thing they feel like they have to do, since the ceremony is mandatory for the Marines, but come on… you paid almost $90 to be there, you might as well enjoy yourselves!

Of course, there were also the rare few who enjoyed themselves too much. One couple in particular stands out for me. It was towards the very end of the night, and they were one of the last couples left on the dance floor. As me and a few of my friends watched, this Marine and his date grinded on each other as they danced. He took off his blouse (a no-no in your dress blues), and then they went and sat down. Or, rather, he sat down. She climbed onto his lap, straddling him, and starting making out with him, all the while grinding away as if they were having sex right in front of everyone. They kept on going for a few minutes, and then he stood up, with her legs still wrapped around him, and the two of them still making out. Honestly, if they had started having sex on the dance floor I don’t know if I would have been surprised. And this morning, as we were leaving, we noticed several Marines walking from up the street (from the opposite direction of the convention center) still in their blues, albeit in various stages of undress. No idea where they came from or what they were doing, but it made us chuckle.

And who can forget the fashion? I was very, very happy to see that for the most part, the ladies of our unit presented themselves very well. Most of us were dressed beautifully and appropriately for the event. But of course, there were the wives dressed like skanks and like they were going to an after-church Sunday cocktail party. It never fails. I don’t understand the new trend with all the cut-outs, by the way. I mean, some little ones that are done tastefully I can understand. But who would want to wear a dress with the majority of the fabric gone? I mean, really… if your belly button is showing, then its not appropriate for the ball. Its also not appropriate if your see-you-next-Tuesday is almost showing, or if your buttcheeks are showing, or if your dress has a v-neck down to your stomach. Have some class, people.

Likewise, please, please, please, stop with the short dresses. This is a black-tie event. That means wear a formal dress, not a cocktail dress. Cocktail dresses are for when your Marine is in Alphas, not in his dress blues. And it is not about you, anyways. I know a lot of girls think they can just wear whatever they want to wear, but the Marine Corps ball is about the Marines present, not their dates. It is incredibly frustrating to me when I see women wear skanky or informal dresses. Show some respect to your Marine and to the Corps, for God’s sake. And I’ve seen many girls give the advice to just wear what you want because no one will notice, but let me put it out there right now — everyone notices. Everyone does. And they talk about it. They talk about what the wives are wearing, and not necessarily in a positive way. The bad dresses stand out more than the good ones do, and those are the ones people talk about.

One of the highlights of the night was getting to meet General Smith. We went to say hello, and it turns out he and Matt got along extremely well. They talked and talked and talked and talked, and would have kept on talking, until I pulled Matt away. We had been there chatting with him for at least twenty minutes, and there was another Marine and his wife waiting there the entire time wanting to meet him as well. One funny moment — when Matt told me General Smith was coming, he told me that he was famous for his nickname E-Tool, which he got because he killed 19 people with an E-Tool. I figured it was just an urban legend, which was what I told Matt. Well, my husband just went ahead and asked him about it, and when General Smith told him that no, it wasn’t true, poor Matt just looked so sad and disappointed! And then General Smith leaned in and said, “I killed someone with my bare hands though once — does that count??” He was delightful to get to talk to, and it was a huge honor to get to be able to meet him.

Anyways, Matt and I had a great time last night. We really needed the time alone together, for one — we get next to no time as a couple with the baby these days — and it was really wonderful to be able to just have the time for the two of us to be together as husband and wife, not mom and dad. It really was an incredible evening, and the unit did a fantastic job of putting the event together. Honestly, it is the best ball I’ve been to yet. I already can’t wait for next year’s.

As far as I’m concerned, you can never be too careful about OPSEC. If I’m even a little bit unsure about whether or not its an OPSEC violation, then I don’t say anything. Why? Because I value my husband’s life, and the lives of the Marines that he deploys with. There are some wives that apparently do not feel the same way. Case in point: Matt’s last deployment. This was mostly moms of our Marines and not wives, but good Lord… there was violation after violation after violation. “So-and-so has been injured and is leaving Leatherneck at 0800 tomorrow to fly to Landstuhl.” “Just talked to my son so-and-so and they’re going to __________ first thing in the morning!” The worst was when a wife posted that one of our Marines had died before the family had been notified. I don’t know if they saw her Facebook post or not, but my blood was boiling over that one. The point is that it happened all the time, and was by and large fueled and encouraged by a group of embedded reporters we had with the unit — they actually posted GPS locations on a map of Marines they did interviews with or stories they published. They never interviewed my husband, but lets say they did. They would have published his name, his rank, his picture, and a location on a map of where he was. Um, hello???

Now, I do believe that there are two different kinds of OPSEC violators. The first one probably just doesn’t know any better, like the person I mentioned above. The second doesn’t care, and just thinks they’re above the rules. This is the group that the OPSEC violators from the last deployment fell under, as they got multiple warnings from command AND their Marines were disciplined for their violations. But they still kept doing it. They think that because they are civilians, they don’t have to follow the rules. Well, guess what? You do. This isn’t some game. This is war, and hacking through Facebook to get an idea of troop movements isn’t altogether difficult, especially when you’ve got wives putting dates online, or moms saying that their sons told them where they were going the next day.

I know no one likes the wife who points out OPSEC violations. I also know that no one likes to be wrong. But when it comes to the safety of our Marines, you can’t be too careful as far as I’m concerned, and it frankly pisses me off that a reminder to safeguard the information we have is oftentimes met with derision. I know that the phrase “Loose Lips Sink Ships” used to actually mean something. But time and time again today, I see family members freely sharing information they have about their Marines without even a second thought. Why do more wives not get upset about this? These are our husbands over there, it is not a safe place, and for God’s sake, they are fighting for us. We can’t even keep our mouths shut in return? No, apparently there are wives who feel that its OK to make the incredibly dangerous job they’re doing even more dangerous. And yet somehow, I’m the bad guy for politely pointing out the obvious. I don’t think so.

Now, Ben was planned. We decided that we wanted a baby, and I especially wanted one NOW. I knew Matt was about to deploy, and that if we got pregnant right away there was a very good chance he’d be home for the birth. We only had a month before he left to get pregnant, so we went to work and got it done. I was shocked, actually, that it was able to happen for us that quickly. But it did, and Matt was miraculously home for the birth.

This time? Yeah, not so much planned. I’ve been getting baby fever for a few months now, so I’ve definitely wanted another one. And I also want my kids to be close together in age. My brother and I were only 21 months apart, and I remember how great that was for us. I want my kids to have those same wonderful experiences. But I didn’t want to go through another pregnancy all alone and stressing about whether or not he would make it home in time. So the plan was to get pregnant as soon as he got home, in the hopes that he’d be there for the entire pregnancy and the birth.

Well, we did what married people do, and the particular day I conceived, I knew that I was pregnant. Don’t ask me how, but I just did. As soon as we were done I looked at Matt and said, “Well, we just made a baby.” I also immediately thought it was a girl — I knew deep down with Ben that it was a boy, as much as I hoped otherwise — but we’ll have to wait and see on that front. Anyway, a few days later he told me he thought I was pregnant, too, because I had that glow. Two weeks and a pregnancy test later, and bingo, I was right. I am officially knocked up.

I have to say, I am thrilled to be adding to our family. I can’t even tell you how excited and happy I am to have another little one. I want a big family, so this is absolutely a good thing. There’s only one downside: Matt will not be here for the birth. He’s deploying again (I obviously can’t say when), and there is no doubt about this one. He won’t be here. No ifs, ands, or buts. I don’t mind so much for myself… while of course I’d rather him be there, I’ll have my family and my friends to help me get through it. I feel bad for him though. I know how much it killed him last deployment, thinking of missing the birth of his child. He told me over and over again how worried he was about missing it. And now he will miss one. Its not all negatives, of course. The homecoming will be just so incredibly emotional and amazing, and we’ll be able to Skype in the delivery room while I’m in labor. But it’ll be a moment that he’ll miss, and never be able to get back.

On my end, what I worry about is how I’m going to manage a toddler and a newborn, all by myself. I spent so many nights crying with Ben, because he just would not sleep unless he was being held. He screamed in his bassinet, and we got him to sleep for a little while in his car seat at night. But for a guaranteed good bout of sleep, he had to be held. I’m just praying that this next one will sleep on their own. I don’t expect sleeping through the night or anything, just please dear God, sleep in your bassinet and take naps during the day. That’s all I’m asking for. It’ll probably be a rough first couple of months, but on the upside, it will definitely mean the time will fly, and Matt will be home before we all know it, meeting his new little one and reuniting with his son, who will be walking and talking by then. I know it will be hard, but I also know that I can handle it. Shoot, what other choice do I have but to handle it? I’m a Marine wife. I’ve got to do my husband proud.

You fell in love with a man in uniform, in fact, you’re married to the military. Behind every man stands a great woman, none more so than the man in service to his country. Military wives will celebrate these unsung heroes that are also making the sacrifice, spending their nights alone, holding down the fort on home soil.

Doron Ofir Casting is recruiting a group of extraordinary women who share the joys and burdens that come along with choosing a relationship with the enlisted. If your life as a military wife is worthy of being shared with millions you should apply.

This brand new DocuSeries offers the unprecedented opportunity to document your lifestyle as you navigate the complicated journey of being in a relationship with or married to the military. From deployments to homecomings, enlisted men to officers, the newly engaged to recently divorced, Military Wives aims to celebrate the true story behind love and life with the military.

What kind of women are they looking for, exactly?

“…a group of extraordinary women who share the joys and burdens that come along with choosing a relationship with the enlisted. Whether you’re up all night worrying or out all night partying, we want to hear your stories. We’re looking for six brazen stars for our long form docu-soap about your lives on and off the base.”

I’m curious why there seems to be such an emphasis on enlisted wives. Do they think we’re trashier or something and would make for better television? I only ask because clearly, they’re going for the sleaze. And I guess to them, that means enlisted wives. Nice.

So they want six “brazen” stars to be featured in a “docu-soap”? Oh, I can just imagine the people who will be featured on this show now. There’s the alcoholic wife who hits up all the bars. The rank-wearing bitch will be there, as will be the OPSEC violator who can’t keep her mouth shut and gets her husband in trouble. There will be the skanky wife who cheats on her husband (because it is just so hard with him being gone all the time), and the wife whose husband has PTSD. And then, of course, there will be the catty wife who talks about all the other wives behind their backs.

This show is such a horrible idea that its making my head spin. The fact that the title was made to sound similar to “The Real Housewives” shows was, I’m sure, on purpose and I’m also sure is indicative of the kind of show they’re going to be airing. This is also the same casting company that brought us “Jersey Shore”. Awesome.

The sad thing is, they will undoubtedly have no problem finding their six women looking to cash in on their husbands’ military service to get fame. And I haven’t seen that be brought up yet — that’s what these wives will be doing. They’re using their husbands’ service to their country and exploiting it to get fame. Whoever does end up on this show should be ashamed of themselves. And they’re representing all of us, every single military wife out there. The difference is that most of us don’t go bar-hopping every night while our husbands are deployed, or keep a Jody on standby, or whatever dramatic, sleaze-filled scenarios this show will present. But that’s how America is going to see us now. They’re looking for, in their own words, brazen women who party all night. Its going to be a train wreck, and what’s worse, all of us military wives will be painted by their brush. Its despicable.

This show will be looking for drama, and let’s face it, us hard-working wives who keep our heads down, hold down the home fort, and love and support our husbands with every fiber of our beings just don’t make good television.

Let me just make one thing clear. Right away, for the people who are going to jump all over me. Oh, you’re a bigot! You’re a hate-filled homophobe! WAAAAAAHHHH! Its the same ridiculous arguments over and over again. So, in the words of our president, let me be clear. No one, and I mean no one, cares about gays serving in the military. It has nothing to do with their honorable service. What it has to do with is where repealing DADT will take us, and we’re already seeing that. If all that would happen is that gays could serve in the military (which, of course, they already could), then fine. Most people know who the gays in their units are anyways. And while I have said this over and over again, it still doesn’t seem to sink in to people’s thick heads. So let me say it again, loud and clear. Pay close attention. I do not care if gay people serve in the military. That is not the point and it never has been. This is about the politics, the agenda. That is what has so many people angry. Things like this, which so many of us knew would eventually come up.

The gay rights agenda-pushers surely weren’t going to be satisfied with just letting DADT be repealed, something which is being broadcasted far and wide now. Did anyone really believe they wouldn’t start pushing for things like this? If you did, then the joke’s on you.

With homosexuals now able to serve openly in the military, the gay rights movement’s next battleground is to persuade the Obama administration to end the armed forces’ ban on “transgenders,” a group that includes transsexuals and cross-dressers.

“Our position is that the military should re-examine the policy, the medical regulations, so as to allow open service for transgender people,” said Vincent Paolo Villano, spokesman for the 6,000-member Center for Transgender Equality.

The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN), which pushed to end the military’s gay ban, is urging President Obama to sign an executive order prohibiting discrimination based on “gender identity.”

It had wanted the order to happen on Sept. 20, the official date “don’t ask, don’t tell,” as the gay ban was called, ended via repeal legislation signed by Mr. Obama.

SLDN’s goal is contained on a Web page with the headline, “Working toward transgender military service.” The page states that a decision to remove the ban must be made at the Pentagon. “Relationships between transgender organizations, medical associations, and military allies will be crucial for advancing this issue,” it says.

Give them an inch, they’ll take a mile. Clearly, the issue was never honorable military service.

Now, here’s the laughable thing: that anyone could possibly believe that there is a place for transgenders and cross-dressers in the military. Allow me to explain.

The military is not a social experiment, which may very well be the most infuriating thing about all of this. It also is not all-inclusive. Not everyone can just waltz in and join. There are standards that must be met, and people are turned down from joining every day. Likewise, there are people currently serving who want to reenlist and cannot. This is because the military is not some kind of social club that anyone can just come play in. The military is structured the way it is for a reason. We need the best and the brightest, the strongest fighters and the fiercest warriors. (And by fierce, I don’t mean Tyra Banks “that outfit is fierce!” fierce.) Conformity and discipline rule in the military. Individuality is not promoted or encouraged. And it is that way for a reason. In the Marine Corps, for example, it doesn’t matter who in your unit went to boot camp at MCRD Parris Island or MCRD San Diego. It doesn’t matter where they went to SOI or where they’ve served before. You’ll know that the Marine you’re fighting with has the same training, the same skills, and the same discipline you have (in theory, anyways). There is a reason that service members can only have certain haircuts, can’t have visible tattoos and earrings and have to wear uniforms.

Explain to me how that works with cross-dressers and trannies, hmm? How does that uniformity and conformity work out when you’ve got a cross-dresser standing in formation?

The military does not exist to validate someone’s lifestyle, and it isn’t there for everyone to join if they want to. Some people get turned down. Deal with it. What is important is that we have the strongest military in the world, not that people with an agenda to push get to feel included. People who join the service need to be doing so because they want to defend their country, not because they want to force an agenda and fundamentally transform the military. This attitude that the military is for everyone is ludicrous, and the line needs to be drawn somewhere. All right, fine, DADT was repealed. Whatever. How far is this going to go? Clearly, as I stated before, this is NOT about honorable service. It is all about the agenda.

And let me save some of you some time. You don’t need to go around calling me a bigot and a homophobe (I already know that’s coming, its the most tired argument in the book, and holds about as much weight as screaming RAAAAAAACIST! whenever you don’t get your way). This has nothing to do with having a problem with cross-dressers and transgenders. I really could care less about what someone does in their own time. You want to cross-dress, go for it. The issue at hand is military service. And I am sorry, but there is no place for transgenders and cross-dressers in the military. Period.

Even with those few minutes though, its still hard. I feel guilty for even saying that when no one else gets to see their husband, but it is. I miss him so much. Those few minutes I get are wonderful, but the time without him is awful. I want nothing more than to be able to kiss him, or sleep in the bed next to him. And then I start to wonder how the hell I’m going to make it through this next deployment if I’m struggling through a field op that’s less than a month long.

The dirty little secret that I don’t like to admit is that I’m scared. Terrified, actually. When I stop and think about it, I realize that its something that wives never really mention unless they’re having a low day. Its like if you say out loud, I’m scared that my husband is going to die, it might come true. But its the truth. I am scared. Every now and then, this awful thought comes to mind and it isn’t for any reason in particular, but I worry: what if he doesn’t come home? You always tell yourself that it won’t happen, not to you and not to your husband, but there is always that chance that it could. And then those thoughts take over… what if, what if, what if. What if I get that knock on my door, what if I’ll never see him again, what if Ben never knows his daddy? It can drive you crazy, so you don’t say it out loud. But its the truth. I’m scared. I know in all likelihood everything will be fine, but I can’t be superwoman, and I can’t permanently make the doubt go away. Its hard, it really is. I feel like I am so prepared and ready for this deployment, but every now and then, I can’t help it. The doubt and the fear and the anxiety take over.

The good news is that, with a kid, the time absolutely goes by much faster. The days just fly by. I look down at the time on my phone and will be shocked to find that it’ll be 5:00 already. The downside is that I get no break at all. I know that Matt has it harder than I do out in the field (especially days like today, when its been raining all day), but it’s still a little tough some days. When Ben is being really fussy or cranky, and I’m getting frustrated, the thought inevitably creeps into my mind: I have to deal with this all day. I am almost at the end of my rope and I have no one to help me. Of course, it gets better within a few minutes for the most part — Ben stops crying, I calm down, and everything is fine. But those moments where I feel completely helpless and alone are definitely tough. Being alone with a baby is so different from being completely alone when he’s gone, and its a big adjustment to make. There are definitely ups and downs to separation with kids as opposed to without.

One of the downs? Ben hasn’t been sleeping as well lately. I’ve been so confused as to what has been affecting his sleeping habits. It took some time, but eventually I got him to where he was not only sleeping through the night, but also on a fairly reliable naptime schedule. He usually wakes up around 8:00am. But since Matt left, he’s been waking up around 4:30am and he isn’t napping as well as he normally does, either. The only thing different is that his dad isn’t here. I have no idea if he even realizes it, and if it would affect something like that, but I don’t know what else could be causing it. He is teething, but I’m still giving him Tylenol as usual. He’s eating the normal amounts and doesn’t seem to be hungrier than usual. I’m so confused as to what the difference is. I can’t figure it out. And I really do wonder if Ben has noticed that his Daddy isn’t here.

Things are a little tough on my end as well. I miss him so much already. Like I said before, I don’t think I’ll ever completely get used to him not being here. Its only been a few days, but I really do miss him. I just want to hug him for a few minutes, for him to sleep in the bed next to me. But this is only the beginning, and I’ve got to tough it out for a lot longer than a few weeks soon. I’m not looking forward to it, but at the same time… I really just want to get it over with.

But. Recently, we have had several wives posting complaints about the unit on the page. (Keep in mind, this page is monitored by the unit command.) One girl was complaining that the ball was too expensive and that it was mandatory, and that the unit should think about reality before having such a “lavished” event in a “nice” setting. I guess in the future we should just have horrible balls in dingy little rooms, because some people might not be able to save up $80 over the course of seven pay periods. (Also, the ball is only mandatory for Marines, who don’t have to pay if all they’re attending is the ceremony, and transportation is provided. But I digress.)

Specifically, this is what was said:

I don’t know who’s incharge of everything that deals with the ball, but I just want to let you know that I feel it is so wrong to make the ball Mandatory. We all know that with certain ranks and what not, not all of us can afford to go to this event. Bills and the care for our children come first. It is not a lie that you see many families within the Marine Corp live pay check to pay check and so to make them spend extra money on something that was made mandatory because somebody wanted somewhere “nice” to host event is wrong.

They did not take into consideration that not everyone has a decent budget. I am speaking on behalf of those that won’t speak up about this and for many who I have heard that has a problem with this. I have to say I am very disappointed in the way this was taken care of. We have a deployment we are all preparing for, bills that need paid, food put on the table . So before we decide to have lavished events like this ever again, please consider the other picture before you agree to something. Of course we would all love to celebrate the birthday of this great military branch, but the other aspect is reality. And reality says that with a government budget, we all can not do so.

I think I had steam coming out of my ears reading that. So, according to this girl, we should never have Marine Corps balls again to honor the Marine Corps birthday, a tradition going back for almost one hundred years. She later commented that she knew that this wasn’t mandatory for all spouses and that Marines wouldn’t necessarily have to pay, but that she was just “speaking out for everyone who didn’t know”. Right. And this was the appropriate forum to do so, not by going through the proper chain of command with a legitimate complaint — legitimate meaning, non-petty.

And then I see yet another girl has posted a complaint.

I just want to say that I am very disappointed. My husbands Uncle which I know is not imediate family normally is in the hospital with little to no chance of livig through the night. Both of my husbands parents are deceased so this pretty much is his imediate family and the command will not let him take leave to go and see his uncle. I am outraged by this so next time your imediate family has an emergency don’t count on the commad letting you take leave.

Do I understand this girl’s frustration? Sure. But I also understand that this Marine’s uncle is not immediate family, and that we have a deployment to train for. It’s unfortunate and it’s sad, but it’s the way it is. And regardless, it doesn’t matter. What is she doing posting about it on the unit Facebook page??

These girls aren’t posting their complaints on their own personal pages. They’re doing it on the unit page, which is monitored. These comments will be seen by every family member who has liked that page (413 currently), not to mention the Marines in the unit who monitor the page — and this page is monitored. Do they have no regard for their husbands? I would never, ever disrespect my husband by saying anything like that on an official unit forum. Whatever your complaints are, there is an appropriate way to express those complaints to the chain of command. Posting it on Facebook for everyone to see is not only immature and unprofessional, but it could potentially get your husband in trouble. They’re not just posting complaints. They’re actually insulting the unit. I just am in shock that anyone would do something like that. What could you possibly be thinking?? If you cared at all about your husband’s career, why would you be so stupid as to insult his unit — thereby insulting his chain of command — on an official, public unit forum for everyone to see? Matt would chew my ass out so fast I wouldn’t know what happened to me. I would be dead if I ever humiliated him like that.

The unit has been kind enough to leave the page open. And these women are abusing that privilege. If they keep it up, the page will be taken down altogether, and the unit will be losing a valuable tool. I cannot believe it even needs to be said, because to me this seems like common freaking sense. But if you have a complaint about the unit, go through the appropriate chain of command. Do NOT post about it on ANY official unit forum, and for God’s sake, no matter how you express your complaint, do NOT insult his chain of command! Come on ladies. It’s not that difficult.

Today is our last day. Matt isn’t deploying, it’s just a few weeks, but I’m still a little melancholy. It’s his first time being away from the baby, and his first time not being home since he’s returned from Afghanistan. It’s going to be a normal day. I’m made breakfast while he was PTing. We went to the commissary to get groceries, I made some baby food, and he mowed the lawn. The Florida game is coming on soon, and they’re playing Tennessee, so of course we don’t want to miss that one (go Gators!). And I’m making Jagerschnitzel and spaetzle tonight in honor of Oktoberfest. It’s a very, very normal, ordinary day.

Every now and then, though, one of us will get a little upset. I noticed Matt looking a little misty-eyed earlier. He was feeding the baby, and Ben was falling asleep in his arms. Matt was looking into his beautiful little face and I could see the emotion on his face. I’m only going to be missing my husband — he’s missing not only his wife, but his son as well. It’s so much harder for him than it is for me, and I wish there was something I could do to ease the separation for him.

It’s only a few weeks. But it’s still time apart, and maybe I should be used to it by now. But let’s be honest: does anyone really get to the point where being separated from their spouse no longer bothers them? I know the time will go by quickly, I’m not upset that he has to go because I understand why. But I’m still sad about it, and my heart still hurts to see the pain in his eyes at the thought of being separated from his son for the first time. We’re used to being separated, but that doesn’t make it any better or easier. We don’t just shrug it off, like, “Oh, my husband’s going to be gone for three weeks? Eh, no big deal.” It’s always a big deal, no matter how often it happens. He’s my husband. I want him here. And I hate that he has to miss time with his son. I can’t imagine it being any easier.

It’s the last day we have for several weeks, and right now Ben is asleep in his crib. Matt is sitting down to relax for a bit before he goes to pack. It’s a normal day. If only I could make the time slow down. If only, if only, if only…

I just have to wonder, is it really that hard to dress yourself?

Well, I can answer my own question. For some wives it clearly is. It doesn’t matter what the event is, there will always be a wife there dressed inappropriately. Some wives will be skanking it up, especially at the Marine Corps Ball. The dresses with cutouts, the v-necks cut down to the belly buttons, the slits in the dress cut so high that you can see their… well, everything… you’ll see it all. I really have to wonder what their Marine must be thinking when his CO, along with everyone else in his battalion and all of their spouses, sees his wife dressed like a high-class hooker. I wonder even more if she even gives a damn that she’s making herself and, more importantly, her Marine look bad. I don’t even like when wives wear short dresses that aren’t skanky, but that’s just my personal preference. It doesn’t make me angry or offended, but I just feel like… come on, this is the Marine Corps Ball. It’s a formal event. Wear a formal dress. Show some respect to the tradition and the ceremony here, ladies.

As for any other events, I don’t see the difficulty in that either. Here’s my rule of thumb. For any unit event, I try to make sure I look nice. If I wear jeans, I wear a nice pair of jeans and a nice shirt, although I usually try to wear something nicer than just jeans. The reason is that, no matter what the occasion, I am representing my husband. What I wear and how I act is a reflection of him, and I want to represent him well. I want my husband to be proud to tell his CO or his 1st Sgt that yes, this is my wife. I see wives show up to events in sweatpants, ratty torn jeans, and flip flops. They look like a mess, like they just rolled out of bed. And I just feel bad for their husbands. I guarantee that’s not how he wants to be represented, especially if it’s an event that his higher-ups will be attending as well. Before you leave, look in the mirror and think about three people: your husband, your mom, and your pastor from church. If they would all approve, you’re good. That doesn’t mean you can’t wear jeans or be comfortable — it just means be classy, wear nice clothes, and put effort into your appearance. It’s really not that difficult.

Most wives do this just fine. The majority of wives at unit functions that I see look just fine. But there are always those few wives who dress sloppily or feel the need to skank it up, and everyone notices. Every head turns when she walks by, and not in a good way. And you don’t want to be one of those women. Right?