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Archive for the ‘Marine Corps life’ Category

After Irene

30 Aug

Well, we survived Hurricane Irene.

The actual storm didn’t last too long. We lost power relatively early Saturday morning, and watched as tree branches fell around our house and our creek slowly overflowed. Something — we don’t know what — hit the doors of the shed in the backyard, leaving a dent and pushing the doors out of the frame. And the shed itself kept flying up, as if it was going to fly away, and then it would fall back to the ground. So Matt went out there to try to secure it with some sandbags. As he was trying in vain to secure the shed, the wind lifted the shed into the air, with Matt still inside. After that, we said forget the damn shed, and let it go. And go it did, flipping over in the air and landing in a neighbor’s backyard.

After a few hours though, everything pretty much calmed down. A friend of ours, whose husband is deployed, had a few trees fall on her house. Because I had been hearing that several tornadoes had touched down, we had her and her kids come stay with us for a few hours, until everything settled down. And then, it was just time to wait.

Sunday morning, Matt managed to get everything cleaned up, and the shed was put back where it belonged. But we still didn’t have power. We rented a small generator from MCCS, which powered our refrigerator and the television, but we had no air conditioning or hot water. It was so hot in our house, even with several fans going, that we were going outside to get cooled down.

Progress Energy had requested that everyone with a power outage call a hotline to report it, so I did. I also requested a follow-up with a power restoration estimate. Sunday afternoon, I got the estimate: Thursday night at 11:45pm. I almost cried. We thought about getting a hotel or going to stay with one of our friends (several offered to let us stay with them), but we decided to just stick it out. I just couldn’t understand why the power was going to take so long to be restored, though. The area that we live in had almost no damage. There were no downed power lines, no downed trees, no flooding. It still makes no sense to me (which is obviously why I don’t work at a place like Progress Energy!).

Monday, Matt still had to go into work. He had Friday off, but base had power, so the Marines still had to go in. Luckily, Matt has an awesome gunny sergeant who let him leave after formation so he could finish taking care of the house, and try to figure out what we were going to do with our power situation. We considered buying a generator from Lowe’s, but ultimately decided against it. All they had were 7000 watt generators, which wouldn’t even power the AC, and it just didn’t seem like it was worth it. Thankfully, Monday evening around 6:00pm… power was restored!! We were so excited. It was like a godsend.

Now that all of the cleanup is done and over with, life will go back to normal. Well, sort of. Matt’s starting workups for another deployment soon, and of course, hurricane season goes on until November. So I think there’s a very good chance that I’ll end up having to deal with the next hurricane all by myself. Maybe then, I will take refuge at someone else’s house.

 
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Posted in Marine Corps life

 

Preparing for the storm

25 Aug

It seems like everyone is in full panic mode over Hurricane Irene. Me? Not so much. We’re prepared, but not panicking. We’re ready for the storm, but we’re not getting rattled by it. It seems like a lot of people around here are, though.

Matt got off several hours later than usual tonight so that he could help get everything ready in his unit. Marines that live in the barracks were given the option of staying or leaving; the majority of them apparently chose to stay. So my husband had to stay late to help coordinate MREs in case the chow hall closes, fill sandbags, and other things of that nature. This way, the Marines in the barracks are safe. Us out in town, they aren’t as worried about apparently. (Which is fine with me.)

When he finally did get home, we spent some time picking up everything out of our yard that could get blown around and moving it into the garage. And once that was done, we were ready. Hurricane Irene, we are ready for you!

It’s interesting to me that people are so worried over this. I saw a story from Weather.com that called this a threat that no one has yet experienced. Really?? No one in Eastern Carolina has dealt with a hurricane before? Ever? In the history of all hurricanes? Look, no one wants to deal with a hurricane coming, but Irene is far from the worst case scenario here. It’s only a Category 3. The Marine Corps hasn’t even called for a mandatory evacuation, and neither has Onslow County. Everyone should be prepared for what’s coming, but jeez — let’s cut back on the hysterics, folks!

As for us, we’re picking up a generator tomorrow that we reserved on base. It won’t power the whole house, but it will keep the refrigerator going, so if we lose electricity we’ll at least be able to keep our food from spoiling. And we’ll be grilling out in the garage on our propane grill. Add in the candles, and heck, it might even make for a romantic night.

 
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Posted in Marine Corps life

 

Hurricane Irene, please go away

22 Aug

I am so not in the mood to deal with a hurricane right now. Seriously — Hurricane Irene needs to go away. I have enough on my plate to deal with right now without having Mother Nature rear her ugly head.

What’s been going on in our world lately? Well, I’ve been mentally preparing for Matt’s upcoming deployment (not saying when or where to, of course), even though it’s still quite a ways away. Since it is still quite a ways away, I’m in the mindset that I am so ready for this deployment, bring it on, I am going to make it through with no problems and time will fly and before I know it, homecoming will be here, which will be wonderful and magical and perfect. This can-do attitude will probably begin to dissipate the closer the deployment comes, of course.

Ben has been sick for the past week and a half. At our first doctor’s visit, two nurses and a doctor completely dismissed my concerns and brushed them all off as normal. I didn’t really buy it, but I figured, hey, I’m not a doctor. After a few days of not getting any better, I was more than happy to bring him back to the doctor’s office. This time, I made sure we saw our regular pediatrician. And, whaddya know? I was right. Ben has an ear infection. It explains the congestion, the coughing, the constant fussiness, the loss of appetite, and the… well, let’s just say, digestive issues.

Thank God he’s at least still sleeping through the night.

In the good news department, I’ve been the captain of our unit’s kickball team for the wives. There’s a league here on base made up of wives from all different units, and we all play each other. The tournament’s coming up in a few weeks. It’s been a lot of fun, and more importantly, a great way to meet new people. I’ve lived here for over two years now, and I can still count on one hand the number of people I really and truly call friends. I know, there’s the “sisterhood” of Marine wives, right? Yeah, there’s no sisterhood. You make your close group of friends, sure. But do all of the wives band together in the spirit of love and support and togetherness? Yeah right! I wish. In my dreams. Most of the time, I’ve found, when the husbands are home everyone kind of keeps to themselves. I understand why — your husband is here and you want as much time with him as possible before he leaves again. But it’s counterproductive. Because when the men finally do leave, you’re left completely alone and without a support system.

(Get that, ladies? You need to come out of your shells!)

So I captain the unit kickball team, and I’m a family readiness assistant for my husband’s company. It keeps my busy and it keeps me involved. Honestly, I don’t know why more wives don’t do the same. I am not a fan of isolation. I was isolated for most of Matt’s last deployment, and I don’t need to go through it again. No thank you.

 
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Posted in Marine Corps life

 

Crawling out from underneath my rock…

25 Apr

As you’ve all undoubtedly noticed, blogging has taken a bit of a hiatus the past few months. I’ve received many e-mails asking what’s happening; for those of you who have e-mailed me, you know what’s been going on. For everyone else, let me fill you in. (AND, to make things more fun, I’m going to have a pretty good picture dump here too.) So, here we go: an explanation of what’s been keeping me from blogging the past few months.

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted in Afghanistan, Marine Corps life

 

Military Moms: Fighting the Good Fight?

09 Dec

Edna Stern is a guest blogger for My Dog Ate My Blog and a writer on online schools and universities for Guide to Online Schools.

There should be no other women more respected in this country than military moms. These brave women watch their sons and daughters ship out to the most anti-American corners of the world to spread freedom and fight for the American way, knowing that some of them won’t come back. Losing a child is a mother’s greatest fear, but many military moms continue to support their beloved children in their endeavors out of an amazing sacrifice for their country.

However, a growing number of military moms cannot separate their personal interests from those of our country, especially when their children’s lives are at stake. In fact, there are quite a few who are staunchly outspoken against the war while their sons and daughters are actively serving this great country overseas.

How can a young soldier face the daily challenges of fighting in an unpopular war, knowing full well that he or she does not have the full support of family back home? By allowing space for doubt in their children’s minds, military moms against the war may be putting even more lives at risk. A distracted soldier does not perform at his or her best.

The irony here is that most military moms are supportive of their child while they watch him or her rise up through the ranks of the military, enjoying the perks and benefits of a steady paycheck, health care, and education, only to become vocal detractors after their son or daughter is deployed overseas.
What all moms should remember is that their children have trained for the day when they get the call, and they are ready to make sacrifices, sometimes even the ultimate one, for the country that has protected and provided for them since birth.

Moreover, it is the mother’s role to stand strong, especially when her child occasionally doubts the integrity of the mission. We are fighting for democracy and justice. We are fighting for those who lost their lives during 9/11. We are fighting for those who have made the ultimate sacrifice in the name of protecting the United States of America. Soldiers eat, breathe, and live this fight. They were born ready for it. Why question and criticize government initiatives that compensate soldiers for doing what they know is right?

Military moms who are outspoken against the war are more often than not worried for their children, which is only natural. It is an amazingly difficult thing to see a child leave in uncertainty, not knowing what lies ahead in the future. But it is also a beautiful sacrifice, one any mother should be proud to make. Those who cannot see it as such have lost the patriotism and dedication that they worked so hard to instill in their children.

 
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Posted in Marine Corps life

 

Military life is not all love letters and clean houses

03 Jun

Uniform chasers are the worst kind of girls. Military men are wonderful, but going after a guy just for the glamour of the uniform is low. Yet that’s exactly what an article in Yahoo is encouraging women to do.

Conviction and courage wrapped in a crisp uniform with a patriotic ribbon on top? Yes, please. Dust off your patriotic heels and show our men in service just how much you appreciate their sacrifices.

Even though dating someone in the military can be incredibly challenging on many different levels, there are numerous reasons why a man in the service could be your ideal beau:

1. Conviction. Nothing says sexy more than someone who is putting his life on the line to protect your freedoms and rights. Joining the military is a choice; by serving his country, you know he has strong ideals and is willing to fight for them.

2. He is in great physical shape. Let’s not pretend that the fact he’s probably in the best shape of his life doesn’t turn you on. The rigorous training he is committed to is part of his daily routine, and you get to reap the benefits of his occupation’s strict physical and dietary habits. We’ll salute to that.

3. Potential for love letters. Since your relationship will probably be long-distance at certain points and for long periods of time, communication becomes quintessential. This means lots of emails, chats, phone conversations, and snail mail. The possibility of epic literary confessions of love is immense.

4. Independence and co-dependence. Since he is often in unfamiliar environments, you know that he can take care of himself. He is trained to survive hostile circumstances and protect his fellow soldiers, so he knows what it takes to work as a team. He knows how to work together for a common goal, but he can also assess a difficult situation and figure out a solution on his own. This can translate well for relationships. After all, love can be a battlefield too.

5. He takes directions well. The military is all about structure, order and rules. If he can survive taking commands from his superiors, you know that he won’t mind too much when you ask him to help you with the dishes every once in a while—or when you start ordering him around in the bedroom.

6. He can keep his room neat. Due to the discipline practiced in the barracks, you can count on him to pick up after himself and keep his personal affects in order. You can thank his drill sergeant for that one.

7. The uniform. It’s not just because the tailored cut of a uniform perfectly accentuates his physical assets. A uniform represents discipline, strength, courage, and fellowship—all traits that make for great partners. We are often attracted to men in uniform because of the message it sends to us: this is a person in a position of authority who can provide us with safety and whose job is to protect us from the dangers of the world.

How can we say no to that?

Let me just say that there are a lot of great things about being married to Matt. But it’s because I’m married to him, not being I’m married to just some arbitrary Marine. There are so many wonderful and awe-inspiring things about the people who serve in our military, but they aren’t reasons to date them.

And real military life? It is nothing like what this article talks about. I’ve never received a single love letter from Matt, not even while he was deployed. I asked some of my other friends, also married to Marines, and received similar snorts of indignation. Love letters are plenty romantic, but it’s probably you who will be sending them. There also isn’t a whole lot of reliable internet service, so web cams and e-mails aren’t happening all that often, either. And best physical shape of their lives? Most Marines are in decent shape, but plenty of them aren’t, too — dating someone in the military does not ensure you get chiseled abs and a sculpted six-pack.

And while the independence/co-dependence part is somewhat true, they leave out the tendency of military men to come home and still talk to you like one of his soldiers or Marines. It took me about a month at the beginning of our relationship to, A.) realize that he wasn’t being mean, he was just talking to me like a Marine and, B.) to then break him of that habit. This is another thing that I’ve spoken to other wives about, who had noticed the same thing happen.

Taking directions? Keeping his room neat? This is a person-by-person issue. Matt is as stubborn as they come. He takes directions from his superiors, sure, but from me? Hell no. And Matt’s pretty tidy, sure, but I know plenty of Marines who aren’t.

Being in the military doesn’t guarantee you’re going to get this whirlwind romance, complete with Richard Gere straight out of An Officer and a Gentleman. The only thing that you really can attest to out of this article is the uniform… which is pretty damn sexy.

What bothers me about this article is that it leads to uniform chasers. These are the girls who fall in love with the idea of dating a soldier or a Marine or a sailor, the girls who saw Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnet in Pearl Harbor and thought they’d pick one up for themselves.

They’re the ones who swan around town wearing Marine Corps everything. You know, because when you walk around Camp Lejeune with a young-looking guy who’s got a fade, no one knows you’re a Marine Corps wife or anything. They’re the ones who won’t work, who live off of their husband’s paycheck, and yet are the quickest to whine about how hard their life is. These are also the same girls who crack under the pressure as soon as the first deployment rolls around and start sleeping with every guy they see at a bar. You always know which girls they are. They walk into the bar wearing their wedding rings, sit down on a bar stool, slip their wedding rings into their pockets, and go to town.

You know which girls they are because they’re shallow, who married their men for shallow reasons.

Being married to Matt is wonderful, and I’m so proud to be a Marine Corps wife. But it’s hard. It’s not this romantic, glamorous life that Yahoo paints it out to be. It’s totally worthwhile, of course, but only if you get into it for the right reasons. Finding some random dude and dating him just because he’s in the military and has a sexy uniform is not one of them.

 
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Posted in Marine Corps life

 

This year, it feels like a warning

29 May

Every year, I always try to do something to honor Memorial Day on my other blog. Usually that will involve several tribute videos. I try to encourage my readers to do something that day that will honor the fallen instead of just barbecuing at home. I feel like we owe our fallen heroes that at least.

Last year, Matt and I went to the annual Memorial Day ceremony back home, at the Duval County Veterans Memorial Wall. There were several new names added to the wall last year, and the families were there. Most of them got up and spoke. Some of them were able to laugh and smile as they shared memories of their fallen loved ones. Others cried. Matt and I both cried as we listened to them speak, not really unusual for me. When I still lived in Florida, I cried whenever I visited. The somber beauty of the monument, as well as the names of the heroes listed, always stirred up my emotions.

All of these things have always made Memorial Day a sad holiday for me. I know too many people who look at Memorial Day as just another three day weekend, a day off of work to go to the beach or have a cookout. It’s never been that simple for me, but this year, it’s much more difficult.

I started looking for fitting tribute videos, as usual. I wanted videos that paid tribute in a touching, respectful way. Of course I cried watching them, but this time, it was different. Watching the videos was even harder than usual, with their images of weeping mothers and wives and children, grieving yet proud fathers, soldiers mourning the loss of their brothers in combat. Year after year, I always cried. This year, it felt like a warning. Matt and I have been together for about a year and a half, and we’ve been good friends for fourteen years. I’ve always known the risks of the job, and I’ve always known that he would get deployed again eventually. Heck, we’re lucky he hasn’t been deployed yet. But I guess I never really prepared myself for the fear I was going to feel prior to his deploying again.

I couldn’t help but think as I watched the images roll by, “Will this be me in a few months?” It’s weird, because I can go weeks at a time without thinking about it at all. And then days like today will come, where the terror just grips me and I can’t let it go. I don’t want to say it to him, because he doesn’t need the added stress. I also don’t want him having even the tiniest inkling that I don’t support what he does, because I do, wholeheartedly. I’m so proud of what he does. But there are times when I can’t help but be terrified of losing him. It absolutely overwhelms me. And I feel guilty for it — that’s the worst part. All of the wives I know seem so strong, so much stronger than me. I feel like I should have known what I was getting into, that I asked for this — because I did. I know the risks, I know that he might not come back. I know that he might come back, but missing limbs or with PTSD or any number of other issues. I understand all of it. But I guess it was myself that I didn’t count on. It isn’t the loneliness or the distance. That part sucks, but it isn’t unbearable. Since we’ve been married, though, the fear has gotten so much worse. I don’t want sympathy or pity, but it would be nice to know that I’m not alone in feeling like this. I never believed that being a military girlfriend was the same as being a military wife, but I didn’t count on this. I’m pretty good at doing well most days. I don’t walk around my house crying most days, either. Most days I’m actually perfectly fine, apart from anxiously waiting for him to get home. But every now and then, on days like today, it’s really hard. I pray to God I don’t lose him. It’s the worst fear I have, and sometimes it’s suffocating. Will I be a widow by this time next year? I really, really hope not.

I will say this much, though. Even if he does not come home, if he is killed in combat, I won’t regret marrying him. I will always be his wife, even if he’s only here with me for a short time. Semper Fidelis applies to us wives too, and I will always be faithful to him. It doesn’t make a difference if he comes home in a coffin, if he comes home in a wheelchair, or if he comes home perfectly healthy, I will always be faithful and loyal to him. I want that much to always be clear — no matter how scared or lonely I might be, being his wife makes it all worth it.

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Posted in Marine Corps life

 

No, this is NOT the hardest job in the Corps

21 May

I don’t remember where, but in the past week, I came across the so-called Marine wife’s creed. And it just completely blew me away. It isn’t that I’m surprised by it — I’m not — but the arrogance of some wives just never ceases to amaze me. Before I go on too much further, let’s go over the Marine wife’s creed:

I am a Marine Wife .
In other words, I have gone through the LDL class of San Diego or Parris Island basic training. I have attempted and completed the Long-Distance Learning sector of Marine Corps boot camp, graduating from Platoon Wife, right along with my Devil Dog in his own platoon. I am proud to have earned the title of United States Marine Wife. Along with my Leatherneck, I have suffered, been broke down, and been rebuilt and designed as an entirely new person. I have unleashed a new patriotism to my country and my Corps. Yes, I belong to the Corps because I am committed to my Marine, and he is committed to the Corps. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. The Corps is his life and I am his spirit. I have learned the hard way, as he has learned also. Wherever the USMC takes him, I will follow, whether it is in presence or in thought. I will learn as much as possible about the Corps, because this is my duty. And I am always on Active Duty. I will always remain true to the Marine Corps Wife’s Core Values, because just as my Marine is always presented under the image of the United States Marine Corps, so I am an example to all Marine wive s everywhere. I will always remain faithful: to my Marine, my sisterhood of Marine wives, my Corps, and my country. And when my Marine is called for duty, so I will be also. I will support him at all times and at all costs, support my Marine Corps family, and will always remain loyal to the privilege of being the wife of one of “The Few, The Proud.” I am a USMC ambassador; for while my Marine retains peace and order in faraway lands, I will keep watch over our home land, and always remain honorable, courageous, and committed.
I am a United States Marine Wife .
Semper Fidelis.

Much of it is valid and good, grammatical errors notwithstanding (seriously — who wrote this thing?!). Actually, all of it is spot-on perfect, except for the very beginning — this part right here:

In other words, I have gone through the LDL class of San Diego or Parris Island basic training. I have attempted and completed the Long-Distance Learning sector of Marine Corps boot camp, graduating from Platoon Wife, right along with my Devil Dog in his own platoon. I am proud to have earned the title of United States Marine Wife. Along with my Leatherneck, I have suffered, been broke down, and been rebuilt and designed as an entirely new person. I have unleashed a new patriotism to my country and my Corps.

When I read the Marine wife’s creed, one thing goes through my mind. This is like the women who drive around with this on their cars:

Let me tell you, they are everywhere here. And every time I see them, it infuriates me. I almost want to smack some sense into these wives. Here’s the deal. Yes, being a Marine Corps wife is hard. It’s extremely difficult. There are a lot of trials and tears and loneliness and stress and sorrow. But there’s also a lot of love, and pride, and happiness, and strength in being a Marine Corps wife. It’s got ups and downs, like anything else. But to run around with “hardest job in the Corps” is to me disrespectful. It is SO disrespectful to their husbands!

Let’s think about a deployment. Let’s say that there’s a few kids involved. So, the Marine is in Afghanistan while the wife is stuck at home, by herself, having to take care of the kids and the house and all of the finances while he’s gone. Yes, it’s stressful. Yes, it’s lonely. Yes, it’s hard. But it does not compare to fighting for your life at war with bloodthirsty maniacs in Afghanistan! There is no comparison whatsoever. Marines while deployed are facing IEDs, mortars, bullets, and savages mad with blood lust. On top of that, you’re talking about horrible living conditions. Going weeks without showers. Not being able to wash your clothes. Not being able to speak to loved ones for weeks at a time. Not having access to things we take for granted like internet and cell phones. Not being able to have food and drinks they love on a regular basis. Not having the freedom to escape the FOB for a few hours when they start getting stir-crazy. Being stuck in the desert with no air conditioning while wearing bulky, heavy body armor and camis.

A wife while her husband is deployed can sit at home, in the air conditioning, and watch TV. She can pick up the phone and call whoever she wants. She can hop in her car and go anywhere she wants. She can eat anything she wants. She can wash her clothes anytime she wants. She can take a shower anytime she wants. She can go on the internet anytime she wants. But it’s so tough because she has to take responsibility for paying the bills and keeping the house in order? It. Does. Not. Compare.

I’ve cried myself to sleep while Matt is gone out of loneliness and fear. I’ve felt terror clamp over my heart without any warning. I’ve missed him so desperately that I wasn’t sure how I would be able to make it through. I’ve felt so overwhelmed at keeping everything going all by myself that I’ve just wanted to collapse in tears and just quit. I understand how difficult it is, really, I do. But it doesn’t come close to what Marines go through while they’re deployed to a war zone. There’s no comparison whatsoever.

I feel like it is just a huge slap in the face to the husbands from these wives with these attitudes. Sure, many of them don’t literally think their job as wife is tougher than their job as Marine. But it’s insensitive at best in my eyes.

No, just because you are a wife, you do not have the right to say you’ve been through boot camp in any way, shape, or form. You don’t have the right to say you’ve suffered as much as he has and you don’t have the right to say that your job is harder than his. The role of wife is tough, and not many women can do it, but for cripe’s sake, remember who’s making the real sacrifice. Remember who actually did go through boot camp and was broken down and rebuilt again. There’s an astounding amount of arrogance required to even joke about having been through boot camp just because you’re the wife, or that your job is harder than his. (The sad thing is, there are wives who aren’t joking.) Wives with this kind of attitude — that their job is the toughest in the Corps, that flaunt the Marine wife’s creed — only make me think one thing. They make me think that they married a Marine for the title of Marine Corps wife only, so they could feel important and special, and brag about how tough and difficult their life is. It’s the wives who revel in the “victimhood” of being left alone for six months or more out of the year.

I love my husband, and I am proud of the job he does. I love my country, and I love the Corps. I feel like it is my duty to be supportive of him and to stand by his side. My job is to make his life easier. I understand the stresses and the dangers he undertakes in his career — why do I need to add to it? That’s all that will happen with that kind of arrogant entitlement attitude. It really infuriates me. Marine wife’s creed? Hardest job in the Corps? Please.

I’ll never see how it is that a wife would have the nerve to disrespect their husbands in such a way, and to be so insensitive to the sacrifices that they make.

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Posted in Marine Corps life

 

Since when did pajamas become suitable to wear in public?

19 May

There is a strange phenomenon I’ve noticed here in Jacksonville, NC. For some reason, women find it appropriate to wear primarily sweat pants and pajamas out in public. I’ve never seen it happen anywhere else but here. I know that there are always the strange people who will do that in various towns, but I’ve never seen it happen as often as I see it here. It is literally everywhere: grocery shopping at the commissary, going to the mall, going to the movies. Girls literally leave their houses here looking they rolled out of bed in their pajamas and just got right into the car and didn’t even bother to change, much less take a shower. The funny thing is that these girls always seem to have “USMC” or “MARINES” plastered on their sweats or pajamas. Does having “USMC” embroidered onto your pajama pants make them suitable to wear in public? I certainly don’t think so.

I understand not wanting to do your hair and put on a bunch of make-up just to go to the grocery store or something, but is it really such a hassle to put on a pair of jeans and some flip-flops?

What’s really sad is that you’ll see these girls dressed like this out on dates with their Marine husbands. The husbands will be dressed pretty normally, with their wives looking like utter slobs. I will go to the movies with Matt wearing jeans, heels, and a nice shirt and feel over-dressed compared to the other women there. You see women walking around in sweat pants and house slippers here, and you barely even raise an eyebrow, because it’s such a common sight. The concept of taking pride in your appearance seems to be foreign around here.

What is it about this town that makes women dress like such slobs?

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Posted in Marine Corps life

 

Hello, empty house

18 May

At about 1:30 this morning, I dropped Matt off for training that will take him away for over a month. We had advance notice, we’ve known for months that this was coming, but somehow, it always seems to still creep up on you. Before you know it, the day has come and you’re spending your last night in bed with them, weeping.

I always feel bad about that, the crying. Is that an overreaction on my part? I feel like it’s my duty to him to stay strong enough to at least hold it in until he’s gone. After all, I know that he doesn’t want to leave me anymore than I want him to go. It can’t make it easier on him, seeing me cry as he kisses me goodbye and walks away. I wish I could be one of those stronger women who can hold it all in. I feel like its a weakness on my part, that I should be strong enough to make the separations as easy as possible for him. It feels near impossible, though. I do the best I can — it isn’t like I spend the entire night before he leaves sobbing hysterically — but sometimes, I just can’t hold it in and feel terrible. When you picture a Marine Corps wife, you don’t picture some blubbery, hysterical woman. You picture someone strong, and stoic, able to handle anything. Is that something I learn, or is this normal and I’m feeling guilty for no reason?

I did the best I could to make it a good last night for him. I cooked him a big meal, baked lemon garlic chicken with my famous cheesy garlic mashed potatoes, corn, and croissants. I made chocolate chip cookies filled with caramel for dessert, and made sure there was plenty leftover for him to take with him into the field. He packed while we watched a movie, and he got to spend earlier in the day playing with Ripley. Ripley’s a total mama’s boy, is much closer to me than he is to Matt, but he still loves his daddy and will be whining for the next week while he tries to figure out where Matt went, guaranteed. It’s sad, because even the dog can tell the difference when Matt isn’t here.

It’s like all of the life has left our house. I think that might change once we have kids, but for now, it’s just me there alone (me, my rottweiler, and the shotgun anyways). It’s tough, but then, I knew what I was signing on for. I certainly don’t want to throw any pity parties. I love my husband and I’m so proud of what he does. My heart beams with pride at the thought of him, but it’s a difficult life. You can adjust and adapt, but being without your husband and your best friend never gets easy. The key, I’ve learned, is to stay busy. I’ve decided, for example, that I’m going to finish painting the house to surprise him when he gets home. I also get to take advantage of this time to watch all the chick flicks I want, because God knows I won’t get to otherwise. (Letters to Juliet, here I come!)

This isn’t the first time we’ve had to be apart in our relationship, and it certainly won’t be the last. And just like all the other times, we’ll make it through.

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