I like and respect uniformed people as much as the next red-blooded American, but the military is a huge bell curve – there are some slobs, some alphas and a lot in between. There are philanderers, husbands, DADTs and more. Some guys are well-trained by military discipline – other men can’t survive without it and go to pieces in civvie life. There’s no special link between signing up and how you are.

“1. Conviction…you know he has strong ideals and is willing to fight for them.”

Maybe, or maybe he signed up to get college money. Nothing wrong with that; plenty of good soldiers/etc aren’t fighting for God and country as much as paying back a business deal.

“2. He is in great physical shape. Let’s not pretend that the fact he’s probably in the best shape of his life doesn’t turn you on.”

And what happens when he comes back from war and isn’t running PT every morning? Can you deal with that?

“3. Potential for love letters.”

They do their best to stay in touch, but our deployed personnel barely have time to brush their teeth.

“4. Independence and co-dependence. Since he is often in unfamiliar environments, you know that he can take care of himself.”

Total lack of knowledge of military units…unless he’s a Ranger, he relies on a tight network of people to keep him and the rest of them safe and secure. There’s something very untoward about a woman asking a man to co-opt his field brotherhood and transfer it to his lady. A soldier’s ties with his unit are inviolable, it’s disgusting to ask him to imitate that structure with other people in his peacetime life. BY the way sister, you have to EARN that kind of loyalty, he’s not just going to give it to you because you think he’s hot.

Speaking of co-dependence, she leaves out the very real possibility that her man will be injured at war and come home unwhole in body or mind. (Taking care of a disabled partner is probably beyond the capacity of anybody superficial enough to believe this list.)

“After all, love can be a battlefield too.”

The last thing a guy who has been to war wants is a battlefield at home.

“5. He takes directions well. The military is all about structure, order and rules. If he can survive taking commands from his superiors, you know that he won’t mind too much when you ask him to help you with the dishes every once in a while—or when you start ordering him around in the bedroom.”

What is it with dating columns that look to justify women being bitchy and controlling?

“6. He can keep his room neat. Due to the discipline practiced in the barracks, you can count on him to pick up after himself and keep his personal affects in order. You can thank his drill sergeant for that one.

Ditto above, total BS. Also as mentioned above, some guys need a sergeant to keep their sh** together and go to hell without him. And what is the obsession with neurotic tidyness in dating columns?

“7. The uniform. It’s not just because the tailored cut of a uniform perfectly accentuates his physical assets. A uniform represents discipline, strength, courage, and fellowship—all traits that make for great partners.”

So you don’t really want to get to know him, you just use the uniform as a proxy for how he _should_ be.

“We are often attracted to men in uniform because of the message it sends to us: this is a person in a position of authority who can provide us with safety and whose job is to protect us from the dangers of the world.”

More fantasy – military men are trained to kill. That skill has almost no usefulness stateside; the chance you’ll be faced with deadly assault where he is justified defending you is very small. To say nothing of the fact that the majority of uniformed people don’t fight on the front lines – the odds you’ll date someone who has killed another man in battle are not large.

“How can we say no to that?”

Well, obviously you can’t, since like most uniform chasers I know you want a man to make up for your own lack of substance and self-worth, but at the same time to be a programmable robot to your whims. It’s like you see this sh** in movies and think it’s real.

Cassy, good on you for understanding what a real military romance takes. To a nunnery with these checklisting hags.

Talking to her like she was “one of the guys” and not being all that neat…well, guilty as charged…LOL…but she got past all that, thank goodness, and married me anyway.

Perhaps the original writer should have provided the necessary caveats…like “he may be neat and in shape but you may forget about that the first time he leaves a cup full of Skoal spit on the coffee table, so get ready to take the bad along with the good…”

Soon as the squadrons shipped out they would hit the clubs and cause as much trouble as they could and would spend the money as fast as they got it in.

The problem is that the author then uses poor logic and projects some of her desires onto the subject.

“Takes directions well”? Not unless you’re his superior officer, as you pointed out. He’s trained to take no $%^t from anyone, unless they have authority that he recognizes. Incidentally, as evidence of the poor logic involved, #5 is in direct conflict with #4, and I also think the author does not understand the term, “Co-Dependence”.

You can probably reach a meeting of the minds when it comes to keeping the house neat, but it should be approached in a manner of convincing, rather than ordering. See above.

I’m not going to really touch the item on Love Letters, since I wouldn’t know how to write one to save my life.

Overall, though, I think the author is just in need of critical thinking skills, and if this was written correctly, would have come off pretty well.

And my daughter-in-law would totally agree with you. Though after his stint in Iraq, my step-son’s gone to inactive reserve. Still has that Marine mindset, though.